It's the dawn of the new era

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
The famous opening from Charles Dickens masterpiece, A tale of two cities.

"It is the best of bimboitic times, it is the worst of intellectual times."
The infamous opening from the life of yours truly.

Having a mammoth 5 hours warming the hairdresser's chair, yours truly had lots of time to reflect on the deterioration of her intellectual poweress since entering medical school, not that she had lots of it in the first place.

She recalled fondly her burning crusade; albilt misplaced considering her lack of talents, to take up the mighty pen. To fight the cause of the oppressed, to unearth corruption, to purge the world of evil..with the humble pen. For after all wasn't the power of the pen mighter than the sword?

She wanted to be a crusading journalist; with hair practically bunched in a pony tail or cropped short, dressed in sneakers and khaki pants to chase interviews. Never mind the grim dirt on face, it just added pizzaz to the image of a war-time journalist blazing her way to the Pultizer.

Or the next best thing, to read political science or some obscure course in the hallowed grounds of some musty old university, churning out papers on the impact of Taiwan's diplomacy with the South Pacific Islands or the evolving Communist Party in China; reports 10 inches thick that only other geeky academics would read with zeal. She pictured herself sitting in the green lawns framed by the background of a 1700s building in a sweater and jeans while devouring the latest book on the rise of the New Russia.

Yet now she finds herself 2.5 years later, sitting in a gaudy hairdressers saloon, reading a woman's magazine on 10 tips to keep your face pimple free..while the hairdresser paints a peroxide smelling chemical on her hair.

While she used to read about Madeline Albright's policies in the Middle East, now she's wondering how does Condoleeza Rice look so good in her lilac power suits as she tackles the war in Lebanon. Come to think of it, Madeline Albright should have done something with her hair!

And while she used to admire the Iron Lady for her liberalization of British state-owned industries, now she admires the Iron Lady for her Ferragamo handbags.

Oh yea, it gets worst...she used to think that M'sian politics were drab due to their policies and mismanagement, but now she can attribute her lack of interest of M'sian politics to the lack of beautiful women in the Cabinet.

Madam foreign trade is a grandmother, so it's a definate no-no to look to her for fashion tips. Plus, with only 10.9% of women in the Lower House of Parliment (1), it makes it less interesting to tune into politics to see who's wearing what. Plus, after the Rais Y. incident on national dress code in the Parliment, there's even less incentive to look for fashion trends there.

If only F. Po Kuan would be made a cabinet minister (with the perks of a personal stylist) or something like that...I'm sure more 20something yuppie females wearing their Vincci shoes would be more inclined to vote/participate in politics. (2)

So instead of knowing the economic impact of the country of stars and stripes' sanctions on Iran, she's having the stars and stripes' flag colours of red and blue metal foil wrapped on her hair for highlights.

Previously: Dying to battle the woes of the world with the powerful pen.....

Now: Contented to battle the woes of a bad hair day with HAIR SPRAY!

She laments how she has changed!

How can she sit under the green lawns to read now, don't you know excessive sun exposure can cause premature wrinkling?!

And a crusading journalist? Don't they go to war torn countries..............
without toilets? How to cleanse, tone and moisturize every day?

Never mind Alexander Solzhenitsyn's work, that guy has frizzy hair!

So what if she misses the with the interview with President Bachelet of Chile for being late......
cuz how can anyone wear sneakers and khaki pants? Don't you know that makes people look short? High heels please!

At least her mother's fears that she will morph into a thick-spectacles wearing, grubby haired messy girl when she graduates as a doctor won't come through. You know the false perception that all women medical students are nerdy and unkept?



Oh man, that's so outdated. She realizes that since entering medical school, she's become more and more airheaded. Why, she's reading more Cleo than Time since then! And one of the joyful moments during her Seremban hospital bedside teaching in sem5 was when she saw a MO wearing 3 inch red high heels, because if someone can do it in Seremban GH with all its impossible staircases, it's possible to be a houseman without sacrificing high heels!

Since becoming a medical student, she now has no qualms of spending the equvilent of West Gabon's (3) annual GDP on her dead keratin while in the past she would thought that such money should be used to feed orphans. The side effects of memorizing IMU's notes must have caused a displacement of logic in her neurons. But she consols herself. At least all the medical knowledge can be used to guess if the peroxide chemical on her hair is causing a point mutation, or a chain deletion of adenine and thymine in her DNA sequencing.

And while she used to scoff at Marie Antoinette's phrase "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" (4) during a crisis of bread shortage in France (5), she now thinks the phrase makes sense. After all, if there's no bread, eat cake la right?

Oh wait, that's wrong.

Don't eat cake.











Cake makes you fat! (5)





Footnotes.
(1) 1999 figures
(2) Abrevations of names used on purpose. Don't want to be under I.s.a
(3) Yes, West Gabon is a real country with the annual GDP of USD7228million (2004 figures)
(4) French for "Let them eat cake"
(5) A phrase incorrectly associated with Marie Antoinette. Source
(6) cuz it's high in calories. (yey! medical knowledge for 2.5 years finally useful)

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Yea yea yea, too free already. This is meant to be a mild satirical comedy post. Lots are exaggerated. I don't use hair spray for instance. Haha.
But laugh while you can because soon I won't be able to dream up this kind of nonsense. Classes start on the 15th of Jan! That's like a whole month earlier than some of the Oz and NZ folks.