Strings
I think I never truly appreciated my piano lessons when I was learning to play.
Detested scales, guessed through the aural exams, fumbled through sight reading (I will never forget having a 5 flat piece during grade 6! ah, total disaster!). Even a beautiful piece would be massacred into a formula; louder at this phrase, remember to slow down at the end to give a "rallentando" effect. Full of pencil marks to remember what to do and where to do it.
I never could "feel" a piano piece. The only reason I think I could finish grade 8 (besides God's grace) was that I just "memorized" the effects to play the piece.
I could never really tell if I was playing well or terrible. I remember playing a piece and my piano teacher would say "lousy" and then I would try to "feel" the piece, and then she would say "good." But I myself could never hear the difference.
In short, to me it just seemed like a dead, mathematical system of hitting certain notes at a certain sequence to pass it off as a song.
No wonder I never captured the beauty of playing the piano..even though I took my final grade at the old age of 16. Never quite marvelled at the little jems in a song, or be in awe of a movement.
Just complained and struggled through to pass exams!
And today I just happen to chance upon hearing a classical song.
Since it was louder and with headphones on, the details in the song became crisp. You could hear the ever so slight pause between notes, the gentle build up of slurs. The diminuendo effect. It's almost as if you can hear the player take a breath as he ends a phrase and lifts up his hand to begin a new phrase.
The slow but sure build up; a stuble shift in loudness and forte. Almost could imagine the player hunching forward as he builds up the song.
No need to strive and struggle with music terms, pencil marks on the ABRSM book for an exam.....but playing...yes playing (just like playing a toy) a ode to the King, or a waltz accompaniment, a dramatic opera finale. A cheeky overture for a play.
No longer a mathematical formula, but a melody.
If only I caught this during grade 8, my piano teacher would have been less stressed!
But at certain times, that's how life as a Christian feels like; merely a set of rules, a conduct of life.
Sometimes it feels as if the bible is just a self help book not to different from the motivational books in the market. Even if lives get changed in Christianity it's because people are bound by certain rules and directed to think in a certain way.
Other times, Christianity feels like a burden. It's always something you didn't do or should have done. If you feel distant from God it's because you haven't tried enough. If there's problems in your life, it's either that you've sinned or that God has something to teach you. If there's no answer it's because you haven't prayed enough. If you want a breakthrough you should fast and pray. Only if you do this, you'd get blessed like this...
All above which are correct and not wrong in a proper context...yet unaccurately makes Christian life feel no different than hitting a mathematical formula on a piano (do this and this)...instead of playing a song.
And no matter how we try to manufacture the song; while it may sound pretty good to others, we know deep down, we can't really hear the difference between a piece well played or a lousy piece.
Maybe it's time to play again.
To capture the songs of our lives.
To not view God, the piano player in our lives as a struggling piano student who memorizes formulas and forgets the beauty of the song.
But the God, the concert maestro, gives the best performance and brings out the beauty of the song.
Detested scales, guessed through the aural exams, fumbled through sight reading (I will never forget having a 5 flat piece during grade 6! ah, total disaster!). Even a beautiful piece would be massacred into a formula; louder at this phrase, remember to slow down at the end to give a "rallentando" effect. Full of pencil marks to remember what to do and where to do it.
I never could "feel" a piano piece. The only reason I think I could finish grade 8 (besides God's grace) was that I just "memorized" the effects to play the piece.
I could never really tell if I was playing well or terrible. I remember playing a piece and my piano teacher would say "lousy" and then I would try to "feel" the piece, and then she would say "good." But I myself could never hear the difference.
In short, to me it just seemed like a dead, mathematical system of hitting certain notes at a certain sequence to pass it off as a song.
No wonder I never captured the beauty of playing the piano..even though I took my final grade at the old age of 16. Never quite marvelled at the little jems in a song, or be in awe of a movement.
Just complained and struggled through to pass exams!
And today I just happen to chance upon hearing a classical song.
Since it was louder and with headphones on, the details in the song became crisp. You could hear the ever so slight pause between notes, the gentle build up of slurs. The diminuendo effect. It's almost as if you can hear the player take a breath as he ends a phrase and lifts up his hand to begin a new phrase.
The slow but sure build up; a stuble shift in loudness and forte. Almost could imagine the player hunching forward as he builds up the song.
No need to strive and struggle with music terms, pencil marks on the ABRSM book for an exam.....but playing...yes playing (just like playing a toy) a ode to the King, or a waltz accompaniment, a dramatic opera finale. A cheeky overture for a play.
No longer a mathematical formula, but a melody.
If only I caught this during grade 8, my piano teacher would have been less stressed!
But at certain times, that's how life as a Christian feels like; merely a set of rules, a conduct of life.
Sometimes it feels as if the bible is just a self help book not to different from the motivational books in the market. Even if lives get changed in Christianity it's because people are bound by certain rules and directed to think in a certain way.
Other times, Christianity feels like a burden. It's always something you didn't do or should have done. If you feel distant from God it's because you haven't tried enough. If there's problems in your life, it's either that you've sinned or that God has something to teach you. If there's no answer it's because you haven't prayed enough. If you want a breakthrough you should fast and pray. Only if you do this, you'd get blessed like this...
All above which are correct and not wrong in a proper context...yet unaccurately makes Christian life feel no different than hitting a mathematical formula on a piano (do this and this)...instead of playing a song.
And no matter how we try to manufacture the song; while it may sound pretty good to others, we know deep down, we can't really hear the difference between a piece well played or a lousy piece.
Maybe it's time to play again.
To capture the songs of our lives.
To not view God, the piano player in our lives as a struggling piano student who memorizes formulas and forgets the beauty of the song.
But the God, the concert maestro, gives the best performance and brings out the beauty of the song.
posted by Sarah at 6:35 AM
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